"Happy Holidays."To the average, sane human being, this is a perfectly normal well-wishing phrase, but to a certain group of people, this is a sign of the apocalypse. They want to hear “Merry Christmas”, dammit! God forbid someone doesn’t acknowledge their specific religion, and worse, how dare someone say that other religions are just as viable theirs!
We all know someone like this, whether it be friends, family, or co-workers, and it seems every year, we have hear the same speech about how “I don’t say ‘Happy Holidays’! By God, I say ‘Merry Christmas’!” and then, like, one other person claps in support of what this troglodyte says, and you immediately know who to eat should cannibalism come back into fashion.
What’s worse, these people claim to have the so-called Holiday Spirit. Really? By excluding millions of people? What the fuck?! That’s like a Rabbi high-fiving Hitler. It spits in the face of sanity, then asks it for twenty bucks.
You see, there’s more than one religion in the world, and quite a few of them have important holidays during this time of year. It’s not like you can just look at someone and know what religion they are. So to cover all bases, people say “Happy Holidays”. It’s like saying “Have a good day, and also I recognize that it’s the holiday season, so well-wishings to you, whatever your belief system may be.” Whereas some people choose to hear it as “Jesus was just a carpenter. Also, go fuck yourself!” As you can see these are two violently different interpretations.
In closing, I’d like to ask that, should you find him, think twice before wishing Jesus a “Merry Christmas”…because he’s totally Jewish.
Mozal tov!
2 comments:
You know, I think that we SHOULD say "Have a good day, and also I recognize it's the holiday season, so well-wishings to you, whatever your belief season may be." It's not long-winded or anything.
Oh, and your blog looks like mine except for instead of a body-outline I have a artistic cup of coffee. You asshole, stop stealing my layout. :)
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